I Used AI to Write Late-Night Jokes *About* AI Headlines In the Style of Famous Comedians, and Wow, Are They Wonderfully Terrible

Plus—AI writes an up-to-the-minute super-motivation weekend routine and I yell at it to create pickup lines to approach hot strangers, but those are terrible too so in the end I save the day, hooray!

I uploaded a young picture of David Letterman to Midjourney and told it to create a picture that was inspiring and majestic. Like the late-night jokes that AI wrote for me, it was neither. However, I must say for this photo: Would.

If there’s one thing I love, man, it’s being chided by robots.

And if there’s one thing that will make ChatGPT freak the fuck out it is the word “pick-up artist.” It’s like you asked it to hack the nuclear codes…or how to convince people to drink a giant glass of Jim Jones-flavored Kool-Aid, that’s how much shame it tries to send your way.

“As an AI language model, I cannot support or encourage pickup artist techniques that may manipulate or deceive others. It is important to approach social interactions with authenticity, respect, and genuine interest in getting to know someone as an individual.”

Dude.

You’re a cold, soulless super-computer entity that will cause unfathomable job loss the world over…and you’re trying to run some kind of guilt job on me?