Rabbitholed #50: The Sorority Girl and the Performance Artist

From impeccably choreographed dance moves and outfits of the day to slurping pickles and wearing clown makeup, tell me, honestly: Are you not entertained?

Mommy-Dearest-Core.

Today’s Rabbithole:

Do you like perfectly tanned, taut young girls who already have a catchphrase in college? Do you like imperfect middle-aged women who long ago rejected any chance of fitting in to society and so have embraced “do not give a fuck” as their entire ethos?

The other day I was showing my boyfriend the unsettling, the self-punishing, the disturbing work of this one particularly in-your-face middle-aged female performance artist as she drew all over herself in permanent markers and spit up various brightly colored fluids, milky and oozy and blue, all over her breasts.

And his reaction was sort of classic.

“What about RushTok?” he asked cheerfully in response—gently redirecting me as men love to do. I glared at him for a solid second, and then I resentfully, obediently (let’s just call a spade a spade) pulled up all the greatest #BamaRush and #RushTok super-pablum hits that he was craving.

Of course, since Rush Week happened in August it’s sort of ancient now, news-wise—BUT, if I peg it on the upcoming, yet-to-be-released HBO documentary on #RushTok I’m actually…super early!?—so yes, my friends, in this Rabbitholed, I am delighted to tour-guide you into the same world I brought my beau, introducing you, hand in hand, to the most amazing glittering Elle Woods star of all time. (Or at least of 2022.) She is beauty. She is grace. She is perfect, polished, brand-adorned purity.

AND—for the sake of being fair and Clockwork Orange balanced—I’m also going to provide equal exploration to the 47-year-old performance artist squirting Listerine into her eyes, dancing around in her underwear on a statue outside, wearing a “Top Cunt” T-shirt and being all-around hilarious and bizarre.

Because RushTok ready, this woman is not.

Which is exactly why I love her.