I have had the strangest, most intense day, and I'll try to write about it now rather than some other bullshit to obfuscate like I normally do

I thought I was pregnant for a half-second or more. Because I puked in the morning.

I think I found this picture because I was looking for porn one day (my usual go-to search is usually breast-related because I dunno) and then, like, I saved this picture because I thought it was a good T-shirt to sell and I doubted the person who coined it had copyrighted it but anyway that’s the end of this caption story, and how badly do I not want t…