Bullies ain't nothing

I will teach you how to deal with them. There is a way.

Step One: No fucks. Can’t have any left. Throw ‘em out of the trunk into the trash. Bye bye, fucks. It’s been real.

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There is a particular kind of bully that makes my ice run cold.

You can see the joy in their eyes that comes from the sadism. Because normally—they have learned—it works. Normally it is far too awkward for anyone to say anything when that adrenaline and energy level gets too crackling.

But that was in the Before Times.

Not anymore.

It’s almost 2022, the world is perpetually on fire, and the very least you can do for your own human dignity is to no longer be trapped in the haunted-house ghost world distortions of your childhood, where you are still helpless and the bully is all powerful.

You’re not there anymore.

You survived. You made it! Even if you haven’t resolved all your childhood issues, you can just know deep in your bones: That shit is done. You don’t ever have to be weak or play weak again.

Whoever is fucking with you is not your mom or your dad or your sister or your friend or your boss or the president of the world. It’s just some person whose life is so incredibly miserable and lost that the one way they’ve learned to feel like they are worth anything is to control, destroy and hurt others who still seem to have some spark of joy and hope left in them.

DON’T LET THEM FUCKING TAKE THAT FROM YOU.

They don’t get that. Not now. Not ever.

Instead, you stand up in the way that you wish someone had stood up for you as a child. Be that person. You’ve dreamed of her. Be her. Be her right now. She is strong and fearless, isn’t she?

Say exactly what you think.

I am officially giving you permission. I’m telling you to do it. Don’t keep it in. Live free. It is glorious. It is priceless.

Don’t fear the consequences of being disliked. Don’t fear your strength.

You are a warrior, and no one can take that away from you, ever.

I will never let anyone take my spark.

This is my spark. Want to see it? Okay. Look at this kid! She needs protecting. And I am here for her.

You too have one of these little creatures inside of you. Be the person you always wanted to be there for you and didn’t have growing up or throughout your life. You can be that person now. Just decide.

The biggest strategy to take when someone is trying to fuck with you or bully you or threaten you or intimidate you is to show that person immediately that you are not the one they are looking for.

You are not a mark.

You are not to be fucked with.

This is not the move to make.

And you let people know that however you need to.

Need to be a bigger meaner cunt than the big mean cunt who is big mean cunting you?

Allowed. Do it.

Bullying is an extremely animalistic behavior.

As such it responds to such. Re-watch Succession. Code every interaction. It’s +/- throughout in terms of bullying dynamics. And it’s very primal and unthinking.

Did I ever tell you about the scaredy-cat dogs who would lay down submissively several blocks away when they sensed my pitbull was coming? Human beings are the same damned way. And I am telling you that you have a strength inside of you that is far stronger than the weakness that leads someone to become a shit-stain of an authoritarian attempted soul crusher in the first place.

Because hot damn, let’s be real: That person broke so quick and flipped to evil to satiate their emptiness…it’s fucking embarrassing, honestly.

No good person enjoys trying to stir-fry your sanity and your soul. Good people care about the truth and reality and elevating the good and the light in this world.

Someone trying to fuck with you, trying to take whatever little bit of power they have to try to just ruin your day just a little bit…that’s…that’s pathetic, honestly.

That is an extremely backwards person who has so forgotten what hope and joy and love and happiness look like that the only way they find it now in their lives is by quashing the joy of others.

But bullies are like vampires. They have to be given permission to come on in. And you don’t ever give that permission away.

Manage your energy.

Do you feel yourself getting upset or feeling like you might lose control of whatever you are feeling? Okay. Well, recognize your personal mental health and energy as being your most precious resources. That’s how you sleep at night, smile in the morning, and wake up to do battle once again. Dipshits don’t deserve any access to any of that.

(…And if you do accidentally just lose your shit? Baby. That’s okay, too! WHO CARES.

Seriously, who cares. It’ll reset in a minute. Don’t psych yourself out. Maybe you’ll wet your pants, cry, go viral and become a memetic joke the rest of your life. Still—who cares!!!! Seems pretty daring and badass that you knew you were someone worth sticking up for. That’s what I think.)

Hear me when I say: You survived 2020. You survived 2021. It’s almost 2022. You don’t let bullies push you around. You can kneecap them effortlessly because you’re no one’s mark. Say whatever you have to say to not let someone dominate you. Because that’s all they are sadistically enjoying doing: feeling like they can control your response and are somehow in charge of you.

They’re not.

You know who you are. And if you forget, I’ll tell you:

You are fucking strong.

Say whatever you have to in order to disentangle from the energetic bait they are trying to twist you into. They don’t get to take you down into the quicksand misery of their miserable fucking life they’ve created where their greatest joy is trying to take away someone else’s light.

So maybe you say…

“I hope things get better for you. If this is what you have going for you in your life, that’s just…ugh [shudder]…that’s just sad.”

Sometimes disgusted and pitying silence is good, too.

But a lot of times—trust me on this one—if someone is fucking with you it’s because they believe you can be fucked with.

Correct them of that mistake ASAP.

They won’t forget.